A few weeks ago I was hanging out at my friend’s apartment while her new roommate was moving in. The new girl had just set up her bed, and perched on top of it was this hideous half-man-half-spongebob thing that I guess technically qualifies as a pillow. She caught me staring at it and laughed, saying, oh, I just had a terrible breakup with the guy I was living with, so my friends got me this as a replacement.
Something about that made me sad. This poor girl had just broken up with her longtime love, moved out of her home, and was now trying to get acclimated in a new spot where one of the few things she could call her own was an anatomically incorrect piece of bedding that would terrify me in the dark…and also the light. It looked a little something like this:
Thankfully it didn’t look like this:
Is it just me or does that look like a crime scene?
Why is it that boyfriend pillows (or husband pillows, depending on your level of commitment to bedding) have to be so ugly and tacky? Should girls without fellas be left to choose between gaudy gag gifts and lonely nights without any form of huggable, support-providing mass? Down with ugly boyfriend pillows and props to these designers for actually coming up with pillows that won’t make us single girls want to listen to Enya while watching Bridget Jones in our bathrobes.